It Happened One Night

It Happened One Night Quotes

Alexander Andrews: Don't fall out of any windows!

Alexander Andrews: Oh, er, do you mind if I ask you a question, frankly? Do you love my daughter?

Peter Warne: Any guy that'd fall in love with your daughter ought to have his head examined.

Alexander Andrews: Now that's an evasion!

Peter Warne: She picked herself a perfect running mate - King Westley - the pill of the century! What she needs is a guy that'd take a sock at her once a day, whether it's coming to her or not. If you had half the brains you're supposed to have, you'd done it yourself, long ago.

Alexander Andrews: Do you love her?

Peter Warne: A normal human being couldn't live under the same roof with her without going nutty! She's my idea of nothing!

Alexander Andrews: I asked you a simple question! Do you love her?

Peter Warne: YES! But don't hold that against me, I'm a little screwy myself!


Alexander Andrews: Oh, er, do you mind if I ask you a question, frankly? Do you love my daughter?

Peter Warne: Any guy that'd fall in love with your daughter ought to have his head examined.

Alexander Andrews: Now that's an evasion!

Peter Warne: She picked herself a perfect running mate - King Westley - the pill of the century! What she needs is a guy that'd take a sock at her once a day, whether it's coming to her or not. If you had half the brains you're supposed to have, you'd done it yourself, long ago.

Alexander Andrews: Do you love her?

Peter Warne: A normal human being couldn't live under the same roof with her without going nutty! She's my idea of nothing!

Alexander Andrews: I asked you a simple question! Do you love her?

Peter Warne: YES! But don't hold that against me, I'm a little screwy myself!

Alexander Andrews: What's the matter, child? Aren't you happy?
[Ellie clutches her father, sobbing]

Alexander Andrews: I thought so. I knew there was something on your mind. There, there, there now. What's the matter? You haven't fallen in love with someone else, have you? Have you?
[Ellie continues crying]

Alexander Andrews: I haven't seen you cry since you were a baby. This must be serious. Where'd you meet him?

Ellie: On the road.

Alexander Andrews: Now, don't tell me you've fallen in love with a bus driver.


[as he walks Ellie down the aisle, Mr. Andrews talks to her]

Alexander Andrews: You're a sucker to go through with this. That guy Warne is OK. He didn't want the reward. All he asked for was $39.60, what he spent on you. Said it was a matter of principle. You took him for a ride. He loves you, Ellie. He told me so. You don't want to be married to a mug like Westley; I can buy him off for a pot of gold. And you can make an old man happy and you won't do so bad for yourself. If you change your mind, your car's waiting at the back gate.

[Peter hangs a blanket between the twin beds in their room at the autocamp]

Ellie Andrews: That, I suppose, makes everything quite all right?

Peter Warne: Oh this? Well, I like privacy when I retire. Yes, I'm very delicate in that respect. Prying eyes annoy me. Behold the walls of Jericho! Uh, maybe not as thick as the ones that Joshua blew down with his trumpet, but a lot safer. You see, uh, I have no trumpet. Now just to show you my heart's in the right place, I'll give you my best pair of pajamas.
[he offers her the pajamas - she ignores them - so he tosses them at her]

Peter Warne: Uh, do you mind joining the Israelites?
[indicates he wants her to go on the other side of the blanket - she doesn't budge]

Peter Warne: You don't want to join the Israelites? Alright.
[he begins to undress]

Peter Warne: Perhaps you're interested in how a man undresses. You know, it's a funny thing about that. Quite a study in psychology. No two men do it alike. You know, I once knew a man who kept his hat on until he was completely undressed. Yeah, now he made a picture. Years later, his secret came out. He wore a toupee. Yeah. You know, I have a method all my own. If you notice, the coat came first, then the tie, then the shirt. Now, uh, according to Hoyle, after that, the, uh, pants should be next. There's where I'm different... I go for the shoes next. First the right, then the left. After that it's, uh, every man for himself.
[he starts to unbuckle his pants and she runs to the other side of the blanket]

[Peter is carrying Ellie across the creek slung over his shoulder]

Ellie Andrews: You know this is the first time in years I've ridden piggy-back.

Peter Warne: This isn't piggy-back.

Ellie Andrews: Course it is.

Peter Warne: You're crazy.

Ellie Andrews: I remember distinctly my father taking me for a piggy-back ride.

Peter Warne: And he carried you like this, I suppose?

Ellie Andrews: Yes.

Peter Warne: Your father didn't know beans about piggy-back riding.

Ellie Andrews: My uncle, mother's brother, has four children and I've seen them ride piggy-back.

Peter Warne: I'll bet there isn't a good piggy-back rider in your whole family. I never knew a rich man yet who could piggy-back ride.

Ellie Andrews: You're prejudiced.

Peter Warne: You show me a good piggy-backer and I'll show you a real human. Now you take Abraham Lincoln for instance. A natural born piggy-backer. Where do you get all of that stuffed-shirt family of yours?

Ellie Andrews: My father was a great piggy-backer.

Peter Warne: Here, hold this.
[Peter hands to Ellie the case he was carrying and slaps her behind for that remark]

[Peter watches as Ellie dunks her donut]

Peter Warne: Say, where'd you learn to dunk? In finishing school?

Ellie Andrews: Aw, now don't you start telling me I shouldn't dunk.

Peter Warne: Of course you shouldn't - you don't know how to do it. Dunking's an art. Don't let it soak so long. A dip and
[he stuffs the donut in his mouth]

Peter Warne: plop, in your mouth. You let it hang there too long, it'll get soft and fall off. It's all a matter of timing. Aw, I oughta write a book about it.

Ellie Andrews: [Laughs] Thanks, professor.

Peter Warne: Just goes to show you - twenty millions, and you don't know how to dunk.

Ellie Andrews: Oh, I'd change places with a plumber's daughter any day.

Alexander Andrews: [Alexander has figured out Ellie is in love with another man] Who is he?

Ellie: I don't know very much about him, except that I love him.

Alexander Andrews: Well, if it's as serious as all that, we'll move Heaven and Earth to...

Ellie: No, it's no use! He despises me.

Alexander Andrews: Oh, come now.

Ellie: Yes, he does! He despises everything about me. He says that I'm spoiled and selfish and pampered and thoroughly insincere.

Alexander Andrews: Oh, ho, ridiculous!

Ellie: He doesn't think so much of you, either.

Alexander Andrews: Well, I...

Ellie: And he blames you for everything that's wrong with me. He says you, you raised me stupidly.

Alexander Andrews: [sarcastically] Well now, that's a fine man to fall in love with.

Ellie: Oh, he's marvelous!


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