The Apartment

The Apartment Quotes

Dr. Dreyfuss : Be a mensch!

C.C. Baxter : Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake.
J.D. Sheldrake : What do you mean, sorry?
C.C. Baxter : You're not going to bring anybody to my apartment.
J.D. Sheldrake : I'm not just bringing anybody; I'm bringing Miss Kubelik.
C.C. Baxter : Especially not Miss Kubelik.
J.D. Sheldrake : How's that again?
C.C. Baxter : [ firmly ] No key.
J.D. Sheldrake : Baxter, I picked you for my team because I thought you were a very bright young man. Do you realize what you're doing? Not to me, but to yourself? Normally, it takes years to work your way up to the twenty-seventh floor. But it only takes thirty seconds to be out on the street again. You dig?
C.C. Baxter : I dig.
J.D. Sheldrake : So what's it going to be? [ Baxter slowly reaches into his pocket for a key and drops it on Sheldrake's desk ]
J.D. Sheldrake : Now you're being bright.
C.C. Baxter : Thank you, sir. [ Baxter goes back into his office, looks around, then reaches into his closet for his coat and hat. Sheldrake comes in moments later ]
J.D. Sheldrake : Say, Baxter, you gave me the wrong key.
C.C. Baxter : No, I didn't.
J.D. Sheldrake : But this is the key to the executive washroom.
C.C. Baxter : That's right, Mr. Sheldrake. I won't be needing it because I'm all washed up around here.
J.D. Sheldrake : What's gotten into you, Baxter?
C.C. Baxter : Just following doctor's orders. I've decided to become a "mensch". You know what that means? A human being.
J.D. Sheldrake : Now, hold on, Baxter...
C.C. Baxter : Save it. The old payola won't work anymore. Goodbye, Mr. Sheldrake.

Fran Kubelik : Shall I light the candles?
C.C. Baxter : It's a must! Gracious living-wise.

C.C. Baxter : The mirror... it's broken.
Fran Kubelik : Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.

C.C. Baxter: Ya know, I used to live like Robinson Crusoe. I mean shipwrecked among 8 million people. And then one day I saw a footprint in the sand and there you were.

C.C. Baxter: [Opens his bedroom door, tosses a pair of gloves in, and is about to step out, but he has seen Fran lying on the bed] All right, Miss Kubelik, get up. [No response from the unconscious Fran]
C.C. Baxter: It's past checking-out time. The management would greatly appreciate it if you would get the hell out of here! [Still no response]
C.C. Baxter: I used to like you. I used to like you a lot. But it's all over between us. So beat it! [No responss]
C.C. Baxter: Oh, you, tee, out! [No response]
C.C. Baxter: C'mon, wake up! [Tries to drag her out, and she falls limp. Then he catches sight of the bottle of sleeping pills]
C.C. Baxter: Oh, my God...!

Doctor Dreyfuss: [music starts in Baxter's apartment while the doctor gets home] [yelling]
Doctor Dreyfuss: Mildred! He's at it again.

Dr. Dreyfuss: [entering his apartment, he suddenly hears loud music starting from next door] Mildred! He's at it again.

Fran Kubelik: When you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara.

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