Californication

Californication Quotes

Hank Moody: Hey. You know, it's not fair to say BRB and then never actually BRB.


Hank Moody: I was thinking maybe I'll get into teaching.
Charlie: "There's an idea... Not a particularly good one, but an idea nonetheless"
Hank Moody: I hate you.


Hank Moody: I’m fine, I’m disgusted with my life and my self. But I’m not unhappy about that. How are you?


Meredith: My baby.
Hank Moody: You have a baby with married guy? Holy fuck!
Meredith: No, my dog, Cat Stevens.
Hank Moody: You have a dog named Cat Stevens? Holy fuck!


Becca Moody: I'm not going to live with my dad because it's fun. I'm going because I have to. I don't know if you've noticed, but your dad is about to marry my mom.
Mia Lewis: Yeah, so?
Becca Moody: So it's really happening. He can't pretend anymore that it's not. And whatever miraculous thing he thought was going to happen with the writing. You know that thing he wrote back home in New York was going to be the redemption of his soul. Obviously, that's not happening either.
Mia Lewis: No, I guess not.
Becca Moody: So it's official. Rock bottom. The death of hope. Can't leave him alone now. The man's got nothing.

Hank Moody: Sometimes, it's best not to get involved in the affairs of others.
Becca Moody: That's interesting, coming from the most intrusive man I know.

Hank Moody: I love women. I have all their albums.

Mia Gross: Hey, that was really cool what you did tonight, it's nice to see some good old fashion family values in this morally bankrupt city of ours.
Hank Moody: That's me, I'm all about the family values.
Mia Gross: What happened to your eye?
Karen Van Der Beek: Yeah what did happen to your eye, Hank?
Hank Moody: Well, you should see the other guy.
Mia Gross: I hope she doesn't press charges.
Hank Moody: It was not a "she", it was a "he", the other guy.
Mia Gross: Right, or whatever I'm off to bed, good night. It was nice to meet you, Hank.
Hank Moody: Nice to meet you, too.

[about having sex with Karen]
Marcy Runkle: I don't want to go where Hank has been. I mean, he probably left booby-traps up there like the Vietcong.

Quotes- See more quotes