Cheers

Cheers Quotes

[the bar is dark and seemingly empty as it's closed for the evening. The telephone rings, and the answering machine picks up]
Sam Malone: [voice on the answering machine] Hi. This is Cheers. Leave a message at the beep. [the answering machine beeps]
Vera Peterson: [voice on the telephone] Norm, this is Vera. Please pick up. Norm! Norm! [Vera hangs up the telephone. The telephone rings again and the answering machine picks up]
Sam Malone: [voice on the answering machine] Hi. This is Cheers. Leave a message at the beep. [the answering machine beeps]
Vera Peterson: [voice on the telephone] Norm, I know you're there. Pick up the phone, Norm. It's three o'clock in the morning. I want you to come home. Norm? Norm! [Vera hangs up the telephone. The telephone rings again and the answering machine picks up]
Sam Malone: [voice on the answering machine] Hi. This is Cheers. Leave a message at the beep. [the answering machine beeps]
Vera Peterson: [voice on the telephone] Hi, Sam? This is Vera Peterson again. Listen, uh, ignore those messages. It turns out, Norm was here in bed next to me the whole time. And I thought that big lump was our dog. Who knew?

Coach: [about War and Peace] Forget it Sam, no one can read four ounces a day.


Diane: You didn't shave.
Sam: Oh no no. I needed a new place to scratch.


Lisa: Look at me, Dad, I'm not--beautiful.
Coach: You look just like your mother.
Lisa: And Mom was not-- [Pause] comfortable with her beauty.
Coach: But that's what made her more beautiful. Your mother grew more beautiful every day of her life.


Everyone: Norm!

Carla LeBec: Yoh, Becs. What's this thing you have against rich people? I mean, you're dating a rich guy. You want to be rich yourself, right?
Rebecca Howe: Yes. And when I am rich, I will stop hating rich people, and start hating poor people. It's the American way.

Coach: [answering the phone] Cheers. Ok, wait a minute, I'll check. Is there an Ernie Pantusso here?
Sam: That's YOU Coach.
Coach: Speaking.

Frank Morgan: Just checking your pulse. Hmmm... very irregular. Rapid, too!
Lucille Ball: You have your fingers on my wristwatch.

Frasier: You see, Sam, there's documented evidence that all human animals have an erotic, hair-trigger response to at least one of the five sensory stimuli. Could be anything, really. Oh, let's see: sound of surf pounding against the shore, smell of honeysuckle on a warm summer's night, taste of a vintage Chateaux-neuf-du-Pape. [getting turned on]
Frasier: Fire-red fingernails... dancing through your chest hair. [breathing heavily]
Frasier: Black lace teddy, straining against its fleshy cargo.
Sam: Whoah, whoah, Frasier. Snap out of it.
Frasier: In a minute, Sam.

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