Seinfeld

Seinfeld Quotes

[Elaine, George and Jerry are going to see Plan 9 from Outer Space]
Jerry: Elaine, you don't understand! This isn't plans 1 through 8. This is Plan 9. This is the one that worked. The worst movie ever made.

[At a health club, in the sauna, Kramer is hot and flushed]
Cosmo Kramer: God... it's like a sauna in here.

Jerry: If you've got a t-shirt with blood stains all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem right now.


Jerry: Men are not subtle — men are obvious. Women know what men want. Men know what men want. What do we want? We want women! It's the only thing we know for sure: we want women! How do we get women? Oh, we don't know that. After that first step, we have no idea. This is why you see men honking their car horns, yelling from construction sites; these are the best ideas we've had so far.


Soup Nazi: No soup for you!

Elaine: Yada, yada, yada…

Jerry Seinfeld: What are you gonna get?
Sheila: I'll decide at the last minute.
Jerry Seinfeld: You better decide, sister. You're on deck. [Sheila kisses him]
Jerry Seinfeld: Sheila!
Soup Nazi: [pounds on the counter hard] HEY!
Jerry Seinfeld: Uh oh.
Soup Nazi: What is this? You're kissing in my line? NOBODY KISSES IN MY LINE!
Sheila: I can kiss anywhere I want to.
Soup Nazi: You just cost yourself a soup!
Sheila: HOW DARE YOU! C'mon Jerry, we're leaving. [leaves the soup kitchen, but Jerry stays. Sheila comes back in]
Sheila: Jerry?
Jerry Seinfeld: Do I know you?

Jerry: [about Newman] He lives down the street from my home. MY HOME, ELAINE. Where I sleep, where I come to play with my toys...

[At a health club, in the sauna, Kramer is hot and flushed]
Cosmo Kramer: God... it's like a sauna in here.

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