True Blood

True Blood Quotes

Lafayette: You look like a porn star with that tan and pink lipstick. You got a date?
Sookie: No. When I wear makeup, I get bigger tips.
Lafayette: [laughing] Yes, girl. Let's hear it! These damn rednecks are suckers for packaging.
Sookie: And I get even bigger tips when I act like I don't have a brain in my head. But if I don't, they're all scared of me.
Lafayette: They ain't scared of you, honey child. They're scared of what's between your legs.
Sookie: Lafayette! That's nasty talk, I won't listen to that.
Arlene: Do you even know what's between a woman's legs, Lafayette?
Lafayette: I know ever man, whether straight, gay, or George motherfuckin Bush is terrified of the pussy!
Sookie: Lafayette!
Dawn: Ooh, what are we talkin about?!
Lafayette: Pussy.
Arlene: Hey, listen. Not everybody is gay, okay? Not everybody wants to have sex with you.
Lafayette: Oh, you would be surprised, Arlene. People you know... that's all I'm sayin.
Dawn: Well, I don't wanna have sex with you.
Arlene: Me neither.
Lafayette: Y'all bitches don't know what you're missing. I got six gears up in these hips!
Dawn: No, baby. You don't know what you're missing. You can watch it walk away. Make you wanna slap it?
Lafayette: Everybody know that. Everybody been there. John been there.
Arlene: Take these, baby. Peaches and cream.
Lafayette: I'll give you a little cocoa. Little cocoa. Ain't that right, John? Shit.


Sookie: Hi, what can I - what can I get for you tonight?
Bill: Do you have any of that synthetic bottled blood?
Sookie: No, I'm - I'm so sorry. Sam got some a year ago, but nobody ever ordered it, so it went bad. You're our first [whispers] vampire.
Bill: Am I that obvious?
Sookie: I knew the minute you came in. I can't believe nobody else around here seems to.
Bill: [referring to Sam] He does.
Sookie: Oh, don't worry about Sam, he's cool. I know for a fact he supports the vampire rights amendment.
Bill: How progressive of him.
Sookie: Well, anything else you drink?
Bill: Actually, no. But you can get me a glass of red wine, so I have a reason to be here.
Sookie: Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad you are!


Bill: Aren't you afraid to be out here alone with a hungry vampire?
Sookie: No.
Bill: Vampires often turn on those who trust them, you know. We don't have human values like you.
Sookie: A lot of humans turn on those who trust them, too. [takes out a silver chain and wraps it around her neck] I'm not a total fool.
Bill: Oh, but you have other very juicy arteries. There is one in the groin that's a particular favorite of mine.
Sookie: Hey, you just shut your nasty mouth, mister! You might be a vampire, but when you talk to me, you will talk to me like the lady that I am!
Bill: You want to drink the blood they collected?
Sookie: [disgusted] No!
Bill: I understand it makes humans feel more healthy. Improves their sex life.
Sookie: I am as healthy as a horse, and I have no sex life to speak of, so ... you can just keep it.
Bill: You could always sell it.
Sookie: I wouldn't touch it.
Bill: [leans in close] What are you?
Sookie: Well, I-I'm Soo-I'm Sookie Stackhouse, and I'm a waitress. What's your name?
Bill: Bill.
Sookie: [giggles] Bill? I thought it might be Antoine, or Basil, or - or like Langford, maybe. But Bill? Vampire Bill! [laughs]


[Discussing hookers who specialize in vampires]
Gran: Wonder how much one would charge for something like that?
Jason: A thousand bucks.
Sookie: See, now that just makes me sick.
Gran: I know. What kind of cheap woman could ever do something like that?
Sookie: No, it makes me sick that they're getting a thousand bucks to lay there and do nothing while I bust my ass for ten bucks an hour plus tips.


Godric: [catching her by the throat] Retract... your fangs. Now. I neither know or care who you are. But in this area and certainly in this nest, I am the authority. Do you understand?
Lorena: Yes sheriff.
Godric: [about Sookie] This human has proven to be a courageous and loyal friend to our kind. And yet you treat her like a child does a dragonfly. Pulling off wings for sport. No wonder they hate us.
Lorena: She provoked me.
Godric: And you have provoked me. You have disrupted the peace in my own home. I could snap you like a twig and I haven't. Why is that?
Lorena: It's your choice.
Godric: Indeed it is. You're old vampire. I can tell. You've had hundreds of years to better yourself, yet you are still a savage. I fear for us all. Humans and vampires, if this behavior persists.

Jason Stackhouse: You know, I read in Hustler everybody should have sex with a vampire at least once before they die.

Jessica Hamby: [tastes Tru Blood] It tastes like ass!

Sookie Stackhouse: So I guess you've killed a lot of people.
Bill Compton: I killed a few by accident at first. I was never sure when I was going to get my next feed. But it's all different now. There's Tru Blood, I can get donor blood from a clinic in Monroe, or I can glamour someone into letting me feed on them for love, and then they'll forget all about it.
Sookie Stackhouse: Did you feed on the Rattrays?
Bill Compton: Yes, after I'd given you my blood while you were healing. You drank a lot of my blood.
Sookie Stackhouse: What will that do to me?
Bill Compton: Well, you'll have keener senses.
Sookie Stackhouse: What else?
Bill Compton: [pauses] Your libido will be more active.
Sookie Stackhouse: [blushes] Is-Is that it?
Bill Compton: I'll always be able to feel you. I'll be able to find you fast. If you're ever in trouble, that could come in quite handy.

Terry Bellefleur: [slapping money down on the tables] That's for your drinks. Now ya'll need to leave! Up! [as the gossipers leave]
Terry Bellefleur: Shake a leg! Out, go! Keep walking. Don't eyeball me!
Arlene Fowler: [hugging him, crying] You didn't have to do that.

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